Thursday, February 02, 2006

Fashion and Hormones Equals Fun With Nee

Have you ever seen those ugly jeans (tell us how you really feel, Nee) made out of really dark blue denim—dark enough you can’t see the weave of the fabric—and “enhanced” with iridescent glitter? The wedding shop is apparently now offering evening gowns made of this “wonder fabric.”

But that wasn’t even the worst crime against fashion I spotted yesterday. Remember those tiered skirts that were so popular last year? (I still love mine!) Now imagine tiered *pants.* The top two tiers were a striped fabric, maybe denim, and the bottom tier—with a *ruffle*--appeared to be velvet. I think she may be attending the clown college across the river. With a major in rodeo clowning.

Hannah occasionally decides to sleep on the made-out couch, so she hasn’t slept in her own bed for a while. That affects our sleep-related routines, of course. I can easily snuggle up to her on the couch, something I can’t quite manage in the 2-story play bed. But that also means that she can reach me. So my usual method of waking her up, tickling, has been turned against me. And for some reason, yesterday morning she insisted on trying to *lick my thumb.* She’s getting so big, I couldn’t fight her off! So my thumb got licked, and I burst into tears. (You’d think it’d be no big deal by now; my sister used to lick my face all the time. Maybe you had to be there.) The crying was her cue to run off to the bathroom while I sobbed all over her blankets. “Are you feeling a bit, um, emotional?” John asked. I bit back my first impulse to tell him to fuck off and answered, “I don’t know.” And wouldn’t you know it: that afternoon—POOF!—I started my period. So at least I wasn’t permanently sliding into insanity.

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