Friday, January 26, 2007

Friday's Child is Fair of Face (right?)

I used some of Hannah’s Wickedly Hot Chocolate lotion (this stuff is the *bomb*), and of course John had to chime in that he doesn’t think lotion should smell like food. Later, when he was cracking some nuts for a snack, Hannah commented that he should get some lotion that smells like nuts, or Viking.
“What does Viking smell like?”
“Stink. But maybe it would be better with a little cherry or strawberry.”

Dear Japanese Girl on the Bus,
I don’t know you from Sam, but please let me say that your puffy yellow jacket and matching Pikachu earmuffs totally cracked my shit up today. Well played.

John was trying to remember the name of the nutty old man that the hobbits stay with briefly.
Tom Diddle?
Tom Dooley?
He went on in this vein until he made it to:
Weeble Wobble?
Snargle Fargle?
Tom Bombadil, you ... Tolkien-noob! He didn’t even remember that Old Tom B shows up in the first bit of the Fellowship of the Ring, before the hobbits meet up with Strider. He thought it was in The Hobbit. Pff! My mad research skillz totally saved the day on that one.

I love numbers, but I have decided to make an exception for these numbers. (Brought to you by my looming birthday.)
16 years ago I was 18; in 16 years I will be 50.
The year I turn 40, so will John, and Hannah will be 16.
I have been licensed to drive for 18 years.
I have been married for a dozen years, and my child is almost 10.
I graduated from high school 16 years ago.
I got my BA 11 years ago.
I met my best friend, WesTexGirl, 23 years ago.
I can’t go on. It makes my brain hurt.

A Hannah classic:
“There’s butter on my brain to make it work smooth. And pudding.”

Hannah is a latchkey kid for about half-an-hour once a week. *sniff* John said he came home to find every light downstairs on. Hannah said she was a little nervous about monsters. I pointed out that they would have to be tiny monsters since our apartment is kinda small. One could fit in the tile oven, she pointed out. One could *be* the tile oven.
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John and I pointed out that Missy cat spends a lot of time up in the space toward the top of the oven, and the monster hasn’t eaten her. Simple: the monster-oven is using her as bait because it wants to eat a baby. Or the oven and Missy are dating.

We were watching Wetten, dass...? again (Bet that...?), and this 10-year-old kid managed to do his trick, so the moderator of the show told him he could choose his prize: “You can kiss these 2 ladies [one of whom was Beyonce Knowles] , or get something else.”
Kid: “I want something else.” (He got a trip to the Kennedy Space Center.)

Weather-talk alert!
After the wind storm last week, we got hit by a cold front this week. We got a little snow, not too much, but the temperatures have barely broken freezing for the last 3 days. I could do without walking to my first class in -6C (22F). Here is one of the poor flowering plants I mentioned last week.
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Can you see the snow on the ground below it?

And to wrap up, a gratuitous photo of my plants.
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Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Hannah, my Hannah, all hail the mighty child!

One day when I was walking Hannah to school, she was explaining that she would not like to be a popstar, because even though you would make a lot of money, you would get old, and they would push you out, then you’d spend up your money and live on the street, and that is why she does not want to be a popstar. Quick! Where’s Britney Spears’ cell number? My child has some important info for her!

This morning Hannah told us she had a math test today. I reminded her of the stuff she had been doing in homework recently, and how she knew how to do each thing. She said that if she had any questions during the test she would go up to ask the teacher, because some kids do that, like if they want to know which number to round to, or how 5 pigeons are supposed to eat one rat. We asked if that was a math problem she had to do, dividing up a rat equally. She thought maybe it was for “cooks who can open up a rat without anything falling out”. John: “What in the world!?” Hannah: “Or someone in a sewing club who can put a zipper in the rat.” It is getting harder and harder to keep a straight face in this family.